Have you ever heard of...The Dead Sea??

This past Thursday, I was in between school and my job at the radio station. I had some time to kill and thought..."hmm...why don't I go to the mall and spend that gift card?!" My wonderful sister-in-law, Adrienne, gave me a gift card for Christmas and I wanted to make her proud by spending it.

Fashion Place was good and I did some very efficient shopping. On my way out, I was minding my own business and taking place in some first class people watching. Then...I hear a voice come from somewhere..."Excuse me sir?" I looked down and there was this very nice lady, who couldn't have been taller than 4'10". "Have you ever heard of the Dead Sea?!" she asked. I didn't know what was going on. I nodded, and uttered..."yyyeah." I think I answered because I have this need to be nice to everyone and I'm not gonna lie, I was a little frightened of my new friend. She said, "follow me" as she started walking away and motioned with her index finger. Then it hit me, she's gonna try and sell me something. I, of course, didn't want anything to do with the Dead Sea munchkin or whatever she was selling, but for no reason...I followed her.

She commanded me to show her my hands. I didn't want her to cast a spell on me, so I rolled up my sleeves and showed her my hands. She immediately started spraying them down with water and now I was stuck to hear her spiel. Once my hands were wet, she slapped on some salty concoction and told me to start rubbing my hands. "The Dead Sea is near Israel and I from Israel. The Dead Sea is special, very special. This soap is directly from inside the Dead Sea and has no added chemicals or anything else of the like. It is very special and everyone should be using it." My mind was racing, "how can I get out of this?" I thought. "Are you married?" she asked. As I nodded, I thought, "you idiot! now she can tell you your wife needs this crap!" Next, she proceeded to slather my hands with "boddy budder" and told me to take a giant "whif" of it. It may have been the worst smelling "budder" ever created. "This budder, is also straight from the Dead Sea! and is very special. Both of these usually cost $99.99 but I can give them to you today for $49.99, today only." I smiled and almost starting laughing. "Follow me" as she motioned to her cash register...


Upon some research, this is actual Dead Sea Mud. I'm sorry, this photo is not too attractive but I think it tells quite a story!

"I've gotta stop you right there. I have no intention of buying this." "But why?! It is very special and can be used on more than your hands" she responded. "Be that as it may, I don't think I would ever use it" I said. "You might not, but your wife would love it! It's no joke, this is very special!" She was starting to play with my emotions and started to look sad. I knew that I couldn't let this tactic get to me. "I appreciate your performance and what you are trying to do, but I need to go." She gave me a very cold look and said, "you may leave."

I escaped and left the mall. I knew I needed to share this story with any and everyone. If I can say "no" so can you!